Silly Me
by kellyfan14
Summary: Unhappy in her marriage, determined in her career, and facing a crossroad Reba finds herself falling for Narvel Blackstock.
1. Chapter 1

"Everything all right, Red" my tour manager, Narvel Blackstock, asks in his low, drawling accent. I tear my eyes away from my current view out the tour bus window and give a small, half smile. "I'm fine. Glad to be on the road again." I reply laying my hands on the table in front of me.

Narvel nods and smiles back but I can see in his eyes that he senses a deeper meaning to the phrase 'glad to be on the road again'. I was glad to be on the road again: happy to have a successful road tour, happy to be with the band, happy to be away from the stress of a long dead marriage and the man who has come to represent everything I've struggled against on my journey in the music business. Country music is a man's world and men don't appreciate when a woman decides that she has better ideas. "Reba McEntire has reached the summit of a female's ride in country music" "You've peaked, there's nothing left for you to do" "It's time to settle down and act like a wife". Since winning Entertainer of the Year, those three statements have followed me around like a plague. Everyone from my manager to my husband have treated me like a child- go, sing, work, stop. If I've peaked why am I still dreaming and envisioning new, bigger, better years to come?

Charlie has gone from domineering to violent in his attempt to control the confident, independent new me that emerged after accepting country's highest honor. He can't stand that I'm not an obedient little wife anymore; I've finally learned to think for myself. The latest fight with Charlie about going back on tour was the worst it has ever been. Bruises along my ribs and down my arms and back ache dulley. This fight has finally started to wear me down and Narvel can see it in my tired eyes.

"So is Charlie joining us soon?"

"I'm not sure. I'm sure he will at some point." I reply, the smile dropping from my face. Charlie and Narvel are friends which makes talking to Narvel about Charlie difficult. Of course he knows that Charlie and I are having problems but he doesn't have a clue the kind of relationship Charlie and I have. How could he? I wear long sleeves to cover any bruises on my arms and the bruises on my ribs and back are covered. Charlie isn't stupid enough to leave a mark on my face that could be noticed by the band or crew.

"Are things getting better between you two?" Narvel asks.

"Nope. Are things getting better between you and Lisa?" I respond

"Nope. Guess we're in the same boat, huh?" Narvel sighs shaking his head.

"It's a fun boat." I say my smile returning when I see Narvel's half smile spread on his face. At first glance Narvel is a little intimidating with his broad shoulders and dark eyes but he looks so much like a little boy when he grins really big and his eyes light up. I would have never thought that the shy steel guitar player from Texas would come with so many ideas and end up as my tour manager and my best friend. Life has a funny way of surprising you.

"Well we have a couple hours before we arrive in Kentucky but we can still look over the setlist if you would like. I have a couple of ideas." Narvel states, getting that gleam in his eyes.

"Of course you do."

Chapter 2 (Narvel's POV):

"Great show, Red. Are you gonna spend a couple days in Oklahoma with Charlie and the family when we pass through?" I ask as Reba and I settle down around the table as the bus pulls back onto the highway.

"Yes. Tomorrow actually. Daddy is having surgery so I'll go spend some time with him in the hospital." Reba replies. I love that she still calls Clark 'Daddy' after all these years. You won't find a bigger country bumpkin than Reba.

"Isn't your anniversary coming up?" I inquire noticing the way her eyes look more tired at the mention of her eleven year marriage.

"Yes." Reba responds without another word. I like Charlie but I don't like the way he treats Reba. He's a lucky guy and he just doesn't seem to realize it. Reba is stressed and quiet around Charlie- she isn't her happy, fun loving self. He has so much control over her.

"Lisa isn't very happy with me right now. She didn't want me to come on this tour. I haven't heard from her in a couple weeks now. It's like she wishes I was still the blue collar insurance agent. She doesn't understand how hard I've worked to get to where I am and how much I still want. We got married so early that both of us have grown up and moved in different directions. We're not the same people we were fourteen years ago. We're not sixteen anymore." I spill, only realizing what I'm saying as the words come out of my mouth.

"That must be difficult. You have worked hard. You deserve to be where you are today, Narvel. You've got good ideas- you're going places. I really believe that." Reba says looking into my eyes. I can tell she really means it from her tone of voice. Her brilliant blue eyes are so sincere and captivating. Even after all these years of working together I've never really realized how beautiful Reba has become. She's matured and grown into herself. She has more confidence than she did back in 1980. Still, she's just as excited and fresh after all these years of hard work; sometimes I wonder how she never seems to be tired.

"I could say the same thing for you, Red. You're too damn talented to have already peaked. No, you've just got your foot in the door- now you can do anything you want. You're not just gonna be the best woman of this generation- you'll be the successful woman ever in country music. I really believe that." I absolutely believe that. It kills me Charlie, Bill, and everyone else say that Reba's peaked and should just go on back to Oklahoma. She's just getting started! I don't see why they don't see it. Every album gets better as she takes more control and every tour is getting more packed as she expands her audience. The woman could be unstoppable.

Reba's eyes fill with tears and I realize that she hasn't heard any support of future plans in quite a while. I thought she knew that I still believed in her. Reba mumbles a sorry as she reaches to dab away the falling tear from her face. I shake my head and put my hand on her arm rubbing reassuringly. She really is my best friend and seeing her hurt like this kills me. I move my hand to hers as I look into those blue eyes and remind her once again "I still believe in you."

Her hand is small and soft but shows the signs of years of hard labor. I've never realized how small she really is. Her huge personality and big laugh make her seem larger than life at times but the woman sitting so close to me now looks almost breakable. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hold her closer. Reba moves her head up, closing in on mine, and connects her lips with mine, lingering just a few seconds. When she pulls back her eyes are wide with embarrassment and she quickly retreats to her room. Before I can say a word, I'm left alone and confused at the table. I don't know what I'm more confused about: Reba kissing me or the fact that I kissed back. I'm married. She's married! It seemed so natural to hold her hand and hold her close. She's just restless in her marriage- I can understand that. The kiss was just something she needed and that's it. Reba will go home to Oklahoma tomorrow and everything when she gets back everything will be back to normal.


	2. Chapter 2

Reba's POV

"It's about damn time." Daddy grunts from his hospital bed.

What? It's about damn time? I'm ending a marriage- Daddy should be trying to convince me to work it out with Charlie or just give it some time. Now that I've made up my mind, I feel so certain that divorcing Charlie is the best thing to do. I don't love him and I'm certainly not happy with him. In fact, I've grown to really hate my husband- why would I stay married to him?

"I'm ready to go when you are." Mama says as she picks up her purse to escort me down to the County Courthouse. She seems so calm about this whole situation- relieved even. I nod my head and follow her out the door and to the car.

The car ride is quiet but not solemn as an air of freedom fills my veins. I've been waiting so long for the right moment to leave Charlie without the fear of running back to him. This is the turning point and there is no better time than this to take charge of everything about my life. No more fighting, no more going on stage barely able to breath, no more lies, and no more Charlie. I'm not happy that I'm about to be a divorced woman but that doesn't mean I'm sad about it either.

It's interesting how things you've been waiting on for years both happen on the exact same day with no particular reason or pomp-it's just their time to happen. It was time to file for divorce. It was time for Daddy to say he loved me even if it was under the influence of heavy medication. It was time to go separate ways with Bill Carter and seek new avenues. Timing is everything in life. If you spend all your life waiting for the big, hallelujah moments, you'll be waiting forever. If you go on with life and wait on the timing, you'll find that those big moments happen when you least expect them and in the most ordinary ways possible. Sitting here looking back at Stringtown as the bus pulls farther and farther away, I feel a heavy respect for the force of life. The beautiful reality of hardship is that it requires growth and change. I needed the growth and change that an eleven year marriage to Charlie required. It made me more sure of myself and more driven in the things that I want out of life.

"How was your visit?" Narvel asks as he sits down across from me. We haven't spoken about much outside of business since the kissing incident and the awkwardness is still prevalent between us.

"Eventful." I reply with a light laugh.

"Oh?"

"I filed for divorce, Daddy told me he loved me, and I fired Bill."

"You what?" Narvel asks shocked.

"I filed for divorce. Charlie will be served the papers as soon as they are processed. I'm moving to Nashville to be closer to the business and set up shop." I reply knowing exactly which event surprised him.

"You didn't even tell him before leaving? You're just leaving him? Why? Eleven years is a lot to throw away! Don't you think you rushed into this? What made you do this all of this sudden? Are you leaving him because of this little thing between us?" Gushes from Narvel's mouth.

That last statement sent me over the edge.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Ending an eleven year marriage because of this 'little thing'? No! I'm not leaving Charlie because of you Narvel. This wasn't an out of nowhere decision- this has been coming for a long time. Eleven years was too long in that marriage. You have no damn idea what that marriage was like! I'm not rushing into anything! I'm doing what I should have done the first time he...years ago!" I spit as I stand up, slipping a little at the end.

"First time he what? Wait, Reba. Don't leave. Talk to me here!" Narvel says exasperated as I once again retreat to my room.

(Narvel's POV)

"Dad can we play catch in the backyard?" Brandon asks as Lisa and I work silently on the dishes.

"I've gotta finish the dishes, buddy, and then your mom and I are gonna spend some alone time together." I reply, casting a glance at my wife.

"Fine." Brandon mumbles as he drags his feet out of the room.

"Alone time, huh? What did you have planned?" Lisa asks winking at me.

Smiling a heavy smile I reply, "Nothing that involves the kitchen, kids, or work."

Lisa smiles and leads me to the bedroom. Just two days ago we had reconciled after a month separation and now she was acting like nothing had happened. Things with Reba and the job were just too risky and confusing. I belong here with Lisa and with the kids- not off chasing some crazy dream with an even crazier redhead in Nashville that barely even spoke to me the last leg of the tour.

Lisa closes the door behind us and kisses my mouth hard, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting into this. Ridding my mind of all the fights and stresses of the last few months, I lay Lisa down on the bed. Freed from my thoughts, I find myself getting lost in the moment. Lisa runs her hand down my arm and I nudge her ear softly and whisper "I love you, Reba."

"What?" Lisa screams, pushing me off her and throwing the pillow at me.

Oh boy. That was a big slip up.

"Lisa, I'm sorry. It was an honest mistake. Really honey, I'm sorry." I say, trying to calm my hysterical wife down.

"You're sorry?!" Lisa screams "What exactly are you sorry for, Narvel? Letting your feelings for another woman show? We're supposed to be working things out, Narvel, and all you can do is sit and brood about Reba and your job!"

"It's hard to on a marriage when you don't love your spouse!" I shout. Sighing heavily as the realization of what I just said hits me, I add "Lisa, getting back together was a mistake. I'm sorry. We've just grown in two different directions. We can't force ourselves to be happy when we're not."

Lisa stands quietly for a moment, tears streaking her face. "Fine. I think you should leave, now." She responds softly her eyes pointed at the ground. I nod my head and put my shirt back on and grab my suitcase out of the closet.


End file.
